Growth is not always about adding a better routine. Sometimes it begins by looking again at a feeling we would rather dismiss, loosening an impossible standard, or moving one hour of attention from the screen into the place where we actually live. Today’s three reads take those routes. They are different in tone—a philosophical essay, a spiritually informed advice column, and a lively personal argument—but each turns a large idea into something you can do.
Your Deepest Regrets Help You See Yourself More Clearly
Psyche · Joshua Halberstam · September 23, 2026
Most advice about regret follows the same script: learn the lesson, forgive yourself and move on. Philosopher Joshua Halberstam thinks that is too tidy. Some regrets stay because they are not merely mistakes waiting to be corrected. They mark abilities, relationships or versions of ourselves that still matter.
His own example is modest and memorable. He does not regret failing to become a concert pianist; that was never a realistic path. He regrets not persisting long enough to master a Chopin nocturne, something he believes was within reach. That difference is the heart of the essay. A fantasy life may be pleasant to imagine, but a durable regret often points to a possibility that still feels genuinely ours.
This is not a research paper, and it should be read as a philosopher’s argument rather than a clinical method. Halberstam does draw on psychological work about personality change and growth mindset, but the value of the piece is the question it sharpens: what does this particular regret say about what I value, and about the person I still believe I could become? Regret can turn into rumination, of course. The useful move is not to rehearse blame. It is to listen for information.
Try this: Choose one regret that returns often. Write down the value beneath it—courage, friendship, creativity, discipline, honesty—then name one five-minute action that would express that value today.
Read the original: https://psyche.co/ideas/your-deepest-regrets-help-you-see-yourself-more-clearly
Obsessing About Being a Good Person Can Backfire. There’s a Better Way.
Vox Future Perfect · Sigal Samuel · updated September 20, 2026
There is a version of personal growth that makes every choice feel like an exam. Did I help enough? Was that purchase ethical? Have I failed to become the best possible person? In this reissued advice column, Sigal Samuel answers a reader struggling with moral scrupulosity: the fear that anything short of the most ethical choice is a serious failure.
Samuel uses Jewish stories and the philosophy of value pluralism to challenge the fantasy of moral optimization. Human values can conflict. Caring for one person may limit what we can give to another. Rest may compete with service. There is not always a calculation that reveals the single correct choice. Her spiritual framing is explicit, and readers do not need to share it to use the central distinction: perfection belongs to angels in the story; growth belongs to imperfect people who choose, miss the mark, repair and try again.
The article also points to research on self-compassion, carefully making a claim that perfectionists often resist: kindness toward ourselves does not necessarily weaken responsibility. It can make it easier to admit a mistake, apologize and change because the mistake no longer feels like a verdict on our whole character. That is a healthier model of accountability than endless self-prosecution.
Try this: When a decision has several legitimate values in conflict, stop asking for the flawless option. Name the two values, choose the response you can stand behind, and decide in advance what “good enough” will mean.
Read the original: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/461208/moral-scrupulosity-religious-obsession-being-good
Caitlin Moran: If You Want to Feel Hopeful Again, Get Offline
The Guardian · Caitlin Moran · September 20, 2026; updated September 24
Caitlin Moran’s essay is opinion, memoir and provocation, not a neutral verdict on all social media. Its strength lies in the distance between arguing about change and participating in it. She describes how online attention can narrow around outrage until every issue becomes urgent, every disagreement becomes a loyalty test and the world begins to look worse than the street outside.
Her answer is wonderfully physical. Pick litter. Donate blood. Volunteer. Help a tired friend. Read a proper history book instead of a stream of posts. Sit on public transport without headphones and notice ordinary people talking to their parents or planning dinner. Moran argues that hope returned when she reduced social media and gave her attention to actions with a visible result.
You do not have to accept every part of her critique to recognise the habit loop she describes: alarming information creates helplessness, helplessness sends us back for more information, and more information deepens the feeling that nothing we do matters. A small local act interrupts that loop. It replaces the abstraction of “the world” with a person, a garden, a street or an organisation close enough to touch. The result is not denial. It is agency.
Try this: Trade 20 minutes of scrolling today for one action with a visible finish line: collect litter on one block, message someone who may be lonely, or offer one hour to a local group.
Read the original: https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/sep/20/caitlin-moran-social-media-what-to-do-instead
